You are NOT ‘That’ mom

Sometimes as a mom and wife we are trying to juggle so many things at once, working to bring in an income to the ever expanding expenses, sorting the family out, running around from one extra mural to another, making sure dinner is done, managing the house, trying to keep up a healthy lifestyle to try fit that magazine cover version of what a ‘mom/wife’ should look like, trying to stay fit and slim be the beautiful bride for your husband. We do all these things while trying to hide the fact that we are tired…

We think we are tired of constantly disciplining children, tired of worrying about money, tired of always trying to be ‘that’ mom/wife on the cover of living and loving. We think we are tired from life, but we are not. We are tired because of YOU.

I want to tell you, its ok to be tired. Its ok to not put on make up when you go to the shops, its ok to say no to that play date, its ok to make scrambled eggs on toast for dinner. Its ok that you take a step back and breath and then once you have done that, think about why you are tired again.

Society sets such high standards of what they see as the ‘perfect parent’. But who is to say that is the perfect parent, who is to say that those models on the cover, or the families written about in magazines with their professional makeup and professional photoshoot have it all together.

Jesus hand picked each and everyone of you to be the mom to your children, the wife to your husband and you do not have to live up to society’s standards, you just have to be you otherwise Jesus would not have hand picked you if he wanted you to change.

I have realised after 8 years of marriage and 6 years of being a mom…what people think does not matter. What Jesus thinks will matter, am I being the wife and mom that Jesus has called me to be? I remember putting on a dress, hair in mess from just being washed and towel dried and in desperate need of some one on one attention from the hairdresser, no makeup, black rings under my eyes from having a new baby in the house and still having to be mom to my girls and my oldest came up to me and said, ‘you look so beautiful mom’. I looked in the mirror and saw a mess and still remember laughing when she complemented me, thinking if only she knew. But she did know, she saw me as beautiful despite my hair being a mess and no makeup. She did not see the imperfections I saw, she just saw me and I am pretty sure my husband saw the same thing as her. This made me realise I am not tired because of my responsibilities, I am tired because I keep striving to be a certain standard I do not have to be, to be loved and accepted by the people that matter, my family.

This incident made me realise how hard we are on ourselves not just as moms and wives but as woman in general. We put this expectation on ourselves to hold this high standard that we have thrown in our faces every time we turn on the tv or read magazine and we are tired not because we are a mom juggling 10 things at once, we are tired because we are constantly striving to be ‘that mom’.

You totally have the ability to juggle those 10 things feeling great every morning and you must think she is mad, I am tired because of those things I have to juggle and I never have time for myself. Well I am telling you, you are wrong.

God has given you the incredible ability to do what you do and do it well. God has hand picked you for your family knowing you were going to do an amazing job at juggling those 10 things at once. Stop putting extra pressure on yourself to be perfect. To be ‘THAT MOM’ or ‘THAT WIFE’ or ‘THAT DAUGHTER’. Your children are going to love you even if you don’t sit and play blocks every afternoon and take a time out for yourself. Your husband is still going to love you even if you don’t wear makeup that one day or happen to go up a dress size from your wedding day. Your parents are still going to love you even if you don’t get that A or are not apart of the ‘popular’ girls in school.

Just be you!

You are strong, you are capable, you are beautiful and when you stop trying to be ‘THAT’ mom, wife or daughter and just be who God has called you to be, stop trying to fit into the mould that society says is right and just be your own kind of wonderful, you will find you will not be as tired, as heavy laden, as stressed as you are.

I am not saying don’t eat healthy and don’t wear makeup or get your hair done. I am not saying start living in your pyjamas and not give a dam, I am saying start embracing who you are and who Jesus sees you as and that beauty will shine out, your size won’t matter, you achievements won’t matter, your looks won’t matter, but gosh will you still be beautiful.

Stop looking to other wives, moms and families as a benchmark for you and your family. When the cameras are gone, and the make up is off there may be a VERY different picture to the one you are striving for. Just look to JESUS and let him be your benchmark.

Jesus at the centre of your marriage will help your marriage blossom.

Jesus at the centre of your parenting will help you be the best parent for your children.

Jesus at the centre of your life will help you be fit and healthy, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

So its ok to be tired, but be tired because you just ran a 4km run because you needed some alone time to just run off some steam, and you want to be fit for you. Don’t be tired because you just spent 3 hours in the gym trying to look like ‘THAT’ mom in the car park and then not have time for your children because you are to tired.

Its ok to be tired because you stayed up late last night praying for your husband and something he is going through. It is not ok to be tired because you stayed up looking at different models and how their diet works because you want to be slim ‘for you husband.’

Its ok to be tired because you have just played catch or hide and seek with your toddler around the house. Its not ok to be tired because you keep following them around pushing them to meet milestones and be that perfect child because you want to be that perfect parent.

Be you, and know that JESUS thinks you are doing an awesome job just being you because you are NOT ‘THAT’ mom, you are YOU!