Have you or your spouse ever said: “It’s not what you said, it’s the way you said it!”
So many arguments we have had in our marriage have little to do with the content and more to do with the context. I often say things in frustration which start an argument which could have been avoided if I had changed the tone of my voice.
Andy Stanley once said: “Your approach determines people’s response to what you have to say.”
If we could get this simple truth right, marriage would be so much better.
King Solomon wrote a similar statement thousands of years ago:
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
Next time you have a disagreement ask yourself, was it because of the way I said something? Most likely it was and most likely the way you said it was because of the context of the moment, but had little to do with the content of the conversation.
Once you get this idea it can end many frivolous arguments that lead to nothing. Once I realise it was because of the way I said something I know I was wrong and apologise straight away.
What are your thoughts on this? Have you ever said something and it came out the wrong way and led to an argument? How did you resolve the argument?
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